The Fear of the Unknown: What Is It and How Can We Overcome It?

by Julia Enea

Julia is, in her own words " a guide to your emotions, an Integrative Coach, a meaning seeker, and a traveler of worlds" She helps people cultivate a new relationship with their feelings, by understanding, accepting, and using their emotions in a clever way. At the HEAL Institute she is one of our Mind centred therapists, offering emotional growth sessions. In this article she talks about how we can overcome the fear of the unknown in 5 simple steps.

Imagine getting to work and finding an email in your inbox from your boss saying simply, “I need to have a word with you today.” If you’re like most people, these words will strike terror into your heart. Are you getting fired? Have you done something terribly wrong?

This is just one example of fear of the unknown. As an emotional growth guide and integrative coach, I work with people to understand and overcome this fear. In this article I’ll share what causes our fear of the unknown, why we need to overcome it, and 5 proven steps to facing the fear.

Why Do We Fear the Unknown?

As human beings, we are hardwired with a desire to know as much as we can about the world around us. Being aware of their surroundings kept our early ancestors alive in a dangerous world. In our present lives, we carry on this desire for knowledge.

From when we are little kids, we are taught that knowledge makes us powerful. The kids who do well in school get lots of praise and get to graduate earlier. On the reverse end of things, we become afraid of what we don’t know.

We want to be in control of our lives, but stepping into the unknown reminds us that we are out of control. In order to handle the fear this brings with it, we apply our knowledge to the situation to try and make it predictable.

This can result in your mind getting flooded with possible catastrophic scenarios of how things might play out horribly. “Janice got fired last week… that’s what’s happening to me!”, “I won’t be able to pay my mortgage and I’ll lose my home!”

The Real Danger of Fearing the Unknown

In reality, we don’t know what’s going to happen next – it could be wonderful news that your boss wants to share with you, or you might indeed be getting fired. But the chances are 50-50. You have just as much a chance of things turning out awesomely as things turning out badly.

When we’re deep in the fear, we often don’t look at things in this light. We assume the world is dangerous, negative, and risky, without really analysing each situation. In doing that, we start to associate the unknown with “bad”.

When we live with an inherent fear of the unknown, we have a tendency to remain stuck in the same scenarios that are familiar but not necessarily good for us. We don’t gain the wisdom that comes from experiencing new things, and instead we rely on a limited type of experience that we generalise in being the absolute truth.

How to Overcome Your Fear of the Unknown in 5 Steps

So how can we grow more comfortable with the unknown, so that it doesn’t terrify us so much? Here are 5 proven steps to overcome the fear of the unknown.

Step 1: Prepare for the Worst and Hope for the Best

Like all of your emotions, your fear of the unknown is trying to guide and protect you. It has a message to give you: “you cannot control the outcome of this situation because you don’t have the necessary information”. That’s a pretty humbling thing to realise.

Make your fear concrete. What I mean by that is, translate your fear of the unknown into words. Ask yourself: what is it that I’m afraid of? What’s the danger that I’m trying to avoid here?

Next, take notes of every danger that your fear predicts. Get to work finding possible solutions for each situation, just in case they do arise. After you’ve planned a solution for every possible negative outcome, you’re ready to take your first small steps into the unknown.

Step 2: Remember You Don’t Know the Unknown

The great philosopher Socrates once said, “I know only one thing: that I know nothing”. We have to remind ourselves that by definition, we don’t know the unknown. Even if you’ve predicted negative outcomes to the situation, you actually have no idea what’s going to happen.

Sure, at the other side of the experience you’re embarking on, you might find some of the hardest lessons of your life. Or you might come across the resources and answers you’ve always hoped for. There’s no possible way to find out except for braving the unknown.

As you courageously step into the unknown, you might find your mind getting flooded with negative thoughts. When this happens, simply repeat Socrates’ words as a mantra.

Step 3: Let Your Emotions Be Your Compass

When you’re staring into the abyss of the unknown, the mind will desperately try to make sense of things in order to control them. We do that by projecting our past experiences on the experience in front of us.

Relying on your mind disconnects you from the present moment and reality. Your mind connects you with the past. If you want to remain connected with the present moment, you can do so through your heart and your emotions. (Be sure you have completed step 1 before continuing.)

Breath and concentrate on your heart. Then, ask yourself:  How does it feel to take a step into this unknown situation? What are my bodily sensations? Are they comfortable or uncomfortable ones? Repeat these questions with every step you take, knowing that you can decide to stop if you don’t feel comfortable.

Step 4: Reframe Your Fear as Excitement

“Reframe fear as excitement. They feel almost the same inside your body.”  This is how Free Soloist Alex Honnold overcomes fear as he scales rock faces thousands of feet in the air with no ropes to catch him if he falls. He’s onto something: the physiological responses of fear and excitement are almost exactly the same. 

So try reframing your fear as excitement. Instead of focusing on the dangers that lie ahead, switch your attention to the fact that you’re doing something out-of-the-ordinary, and that’s exciting!

When you’re listening to your fear, you’ll want to protect and prevent anything bad from happening. That will cause you to not act – to have a passive approach. When, on the other hand, you listen to your excitement, your natural response will be to explore with curiosity. This leads to taking action – an active approach.

Step 5: Grow Your Comfort Zone

There’s nothing amazing about Alex Honnold’s brain - neuroscientists actually studied it.  What Honnold did to become so brave was to “gradually and repeatedly expose” himself to what he feared most.

We can replicate this to build bravery in our own lives. Every day, try to experience new things. You can start with small things like listening to a new genre of music, tasting a new food, or changing up the way you wear your hair.

Experiencing change in your daily life will increase the window of tolerance gradually, and in doing so will decrease your fear of the unknown.

The Unknown Doesn’t Have to Be Scary

Next time you find yourself overwhelmed and afraid when you’re facing the unknown, go through these steps I’ve given you. They’ll give you the courage to live life without fear, but with what Alex Honnold calls “the explorer’s heart, wanting to see what’s around the corner”.